The Pep Rally

I got to Gage's school today very early to pick him up, I was first in line for the car riders. I was alone...which can mean trouble...me, alone, with a notebook and pen...
I watch as the children line up for what appears to be a possible pep rally. Some kids were wearing jerseys, bearing the school name or mascot. Girls wore their cheerleading uniforms, all under the age of ten or so.......and my mind starts to drift.....
Being a former cheerleader, I remember how loud the gymnasium would get as the faculty and students would fill the echoey space. The cadence from the percussion section of the band would summon the football team to their reserved seats. The pride filling their veins could be felt by all. As we chanted, as we stomped, we knew these two hundred pound men (sometimes heavier) would align themselves along the front lines of our school battles every Friday night. They loved it, in fact they hungered for it.......for a brief moment, I'm back in reality as I see my little guy entering the gym. His jersey hanging below his knees, but pride makes him put it on every Friday. For a moment, my mommy instincts kick in and I want to jump out of the car and run turn down his processor for him, or adjust his program so he can hear better inside that huge room full of students. I use every pound in my body to hold me down(there's plenty of poundage, trust me), every muscle flexed so my arm is against my body and not reaching for the door handle. I want him to hear the full experience and feel the emotions and taste the excitement. As he disappears into the building, reality slips from me once again, giving way to memory....
I realize how important music was in "firing us up" for game time. We as cheerleaders would pile into a car and ride for an hour or more before games to set the mood with whatever music the driver chose. We would listen and sing and dance our way, eventually, to the stadium. Football players could be seen with their headphones (pre-ipod days) listening to their own music to help them arrive to that perfect mental state they needed to be in before they crashed their bodies into other giant boys in hopes of moving their team closer to the end zone. The cheers and chants from fans was enough to keep them going, they could hear the band as they scored and they could hear the silence when injured. To us, it didn't matter if we won or lost, it was the pre-game excitement that brought us back each week. And as reality creeps up on me once again, I realize how lucky we are that Gage gets to enjoy all the pregame excitement. He'll never be on the front lines of a football field(no contact sports for ci kids)but he'll be right in the middle-getting fired up by the cheerleaders (I know, I know, in more ways than one, one of these days) getting fired up by the music, the band, the fans.
When school lets out, I put down my pen and paper, watch for my pint sized little boy to come out. I'm thinking he's gonna jump in with all this pep rally excitement but instead, he hops in the car and says..."I'm very upset today"
I ask why and he tells me that his best friend is moving and today was his last day. As his voice cracks, wondering if he'll have anyone to play with when he returns next week, something ironic occurs... AC/DC's Back in Black comes on the radio. "Oh, turn it up, AC/DC" he says, and his mood is immediately changed. He's so fired up by the song that by the time we pull out of the school parking lot, he's named his new best friend and all is well.

All About Me

Today was Brook's day to give her little presentation at preschool. It was a show and tell that included photos, seashells, and one of her babies. A teacher and the "head mistress" of the school jokingly told her before she went in that she needed to keep it 30 words or less (knowing "all about me" would be her favorite subject). Bet she never thought she'd be telling that to a deaf child. While in class, another mom and I slipped off to an area attraction to take some photos. Her son has hydrocephalus and is in class with Brooklyn.



According to Indian SIGN LANGUAGE, yes sign language, inscripted into stone near where the statue is, this young Indian girl jumped to her death because she didn't want to marry the Indian man selected for her by her father who was a Cherokee chief. He made this deal as a piece offering to the Creek tribe who they had been in off and on again battles with. She was in love with someone from her own tribe and jumped right where the statue is, to the awaiting rapid water down below...which is full of rocks. I am in no way a history buff, though I've heard the story before...it's just really beautiful here now that we've had so much rain, the falls were really flowing.

A Conspiracy

Well it doesn't take long for deaf children (with hearing parents)to figure out how they can outsmart Mom and Dad. Yesterday when I called these two little "angels" in for showers and bed, I hear my seven year old tell his four year old sister "pretend you can't hear her, pretend you're not wearing your processor"...giggles from both, then Gage (as usual) takes it a step farther and changes his voice to sound unaided. He still hasn't mastered that, but he's practicing! He listened to Brook speak w/out her processors yesterday morning and noted the subtle changes in her speech with no hearing...so he's working really hard to perfect his own non-aided voice. Kinda hard when you can't hear yourself unaided. But I have no doubt that one day he'll perfect this, and he'll teach his sister to master this skill and I'll be done for. He and Brook will laugh and make fun of me as they age, watching me go out of my way to flap my arms or stomp the floor, whatever I need to do to get their attention, and they'll secretly be wearing their processors all along. Oh, gotta love 'em!

Go Kart Fun

So, big fun now that the rain has stopped. They rode the go kart today and look how wet they got...! Gage stopped and removed his helmet to tell me his coil keeps popping off when he goes over bumps, and wants to know what I'm gonna do about it. If you remember, he took a good wack on the head last week...directly on his implant. So there may be a little bit of swelling left that's causing his coil not to stick as well. I adjusted it as far as I could and the next step would be a stronger magnet. He said it's not coming off as much at P.E. like it was last week so hopefully in a few days it'll completely go back to normal and it'll stick better. (I've not seen it come off once) but I know it's gotta be irritating, so I may have to just switch the magnet for a while.

He's Smitten

Gage decided to lock himself in his room this morning requiring me to use force to open the door. I almost broke the wood that surrounds the door where the lock is attached. He didn't have his processor on this morning and we were running late, he didn't know it. He then told me he just wasn't going to school anymore, "I'm tired of all that racket!" he said. His FM system is down til next week so he thinks that might get him a few days off....wrong. He does get listening breaks during the day so I think he'll make it til next week. Good thing he went in today, his little "girlfriend" from last year decided they were "going out" now. So he was quite smitten when he got in the car!

The /s/ Sound

Oh those dreaded "S's". Brook did have a tough time with that sound and sometimes she still forgets to use it. After not hearing it throughout infancy, it's a tough one for many kids/adults to get, even though they may hear it w/their cochlear implants. So today as just a "reminder" and to give her a little practice I asked her take some photos of things that start w/S. She came back with a spider and a stick, she wanted a snake but luckily there were none today. Then I gave her a silly tongue twister "Silly Susan sold stickers" and she did it well.
Then it began to rain, luckily her ci's are water resistent and she decided to Sing in the rain...and Splash and Stomp !



and yes, that's a purple dress under the pink one w/Gage's rubber boots...nice!

Chicken a la AVT !!!

So when my little domestic queen wanted to help with dinner, I don't think, oh what a mess Instead I think "okay, sure" I'm always looking for opportunities to pack in a few vocab words or a listening exercise (usually I incorporate both). So here Brook had to listen for commands w/several elements like "put the smallest slice of tomatoe on Gage's plate" and I did prep her beforehand w/things like "Daddy's plate has the most chicken" I also worked in things like "Put macaroni n cheese on everyone's plate except mine" That one she missed because she was unsure of the word EXCEPT. When I corrected her after she put a spoonful on my plate, she responded with "you said, sept!" I then had the chance to explain what except actually meant, so bonus vocab word! You can make it as hard or as easy as you need. If you're working on colors and numbers you could use different colored plates (like my kids use) and say, "put two orange slices on the blue plate and four on the orange plate"...etc. So with five minutes of specific instructions, you can see how easy it is to fit in some pre dinner AVT.

I'm not listening!

After reading a book called "17 Things I'm No Longer Allowed to Do" from the local library about a young girl how is very naughty, my child decided to not only mock a page in the book where the young naughty girl pretends to have been struck deaf and sticks her fingers in her ears...but she gathers her army of other students to do the same thing. The teacher wasn't too pleased when she heard Brooklyn telling the kids, "put your fingers in your ears, we don't want to listen!" Well, of course we were displeased and when I talked to Brook about how naughty that was of her, she explained to me..."but I can still hear when I stick my fingers in my ears!" okay, gotta give her that. I did explain to the teacher that we just had read a book with that exact thing in there, and I also explained that if Brook truely didn't want to hear the her teach, she would have pulled her coils off her head, like she does me at home. But otherwise Brook had a good day.
Gage has begun to ask questions about other languages and accents and such. I explained that we too have an accent, very slow and southern! He informed me that he could talk fast if he wanted to, and I informed him that I could not. "I'm just not a fast talker, in fact I don't think I could talk fast if I tried" I told him. His answer...."Maybe you just need a new talk box".
And I leave you with not much of a picture but due to the graphic nature I cropped it. This is one HUGE reason we got our kids ci's. We are in the country and we have these:

Yes, this WAS a rattle snake. Our neighbor brought it up on his four wheeler and said he HEARD IT first, then saw it in his back yard!!!
I try to make sure my kids have their processors on when outside, for snake safety, coyote safety, and stranger safety. There's a lot of danger out there, thank goodness they can hear most of it now. Guess that means none of you want to visit..?

From Head to Toe

So far Brook's toe is healing nicely. And some of you know that Gage mysteriously bumped his head in the overnight hours of Monday night. He awoke w/a really sore head telling me he hit it on the window seal during the night. Later it changed to his head board and by nightfall he just wasn't for sure what he hit it on. The end result was a very swollen implant (yes, actually the exact spot where his internal piece is) and I could no longer feel the interal due to the puffiness. Why can they not bump their heads on the other side, or maybe the backs of their heads...why the implant??? But in a deep coma he of course couldn't help it. He could hear fine so he went to school w/a note explaining the seriousness of the situation. The school called me at ten to come check him out, his head was hurting. So I immediately went to get him and sure enough it was still swollen. The doctor said to watch him close and bring him in next week if he gets no better.
Well, last night before bed I felt like it was swollen even more, but still no hearing issues that would leave me to believe it was anything more than a bad bump on the noggin. With a dose of ibuprofen, I sent him to bed and when he woke this morning the swelling was way down. WHEW! I feel better. We are still not completely out of the woods as of yet, I'm watching him like a hawk to note any hearing changes or unusual sounds he may hear, that may or may not indicate further device complications. I think he's gonna be just fine...to be continued.

The Things Miss Bilateral Overhears

Well, today we emptied the pool for the summer, Gage just had to run his fourwheeler thru all that water...BIG FUN. We then headed up to the cabin, this little hunting like cabin past the field behind my house. My husband build it (even though he don't hunt) when I was pregnant with Gage. All of the men friends gather there from far and wide ever so often to do whatever it is men do, with no electricity, no water, just a cabin and a camp fire. Anyway, the four of us were walking around and Brook picked up their shovel, which is real but only about two feet long. She was digging around in dirt, ant beds whatever she could find. She found some soft soil and said "look everybody" and WHAM slammed the shovel right down on her toe (she was wearing flip flops). I jerked her up and told Chad under my breath "she's nearly cut it off" and as the blood poured I jumped on the four wheeler that was nearby and rushed her back home telling her "don't look at it, don't look at it" When we got home, Brook still crying says "Is my foot still back at the cabin?" she had overheard me say that she nearly cut it off (I meant her toe)to Chad. Gage would have never picked up on that with his one ci had it been him in that painful situation. I cleaned up her toe and realized the bone was intact and all we could really do for it was peroxide, antibiotic, gauze. It was the big toe and we may lose the nail in a few days but she'll be fine, as long as it doesn't get infected. WHEW! Next time, I'll have to be more careful about what details I verbalize.
p.s. that's why B has on house shoes, I had so much gauze wrapped around that toe, she couldn't put her tennis shoes on...no more flip flops outside.

When Our Kids Go to Bed...

Here are a few things the hearing parents with hearing kids need to know and probably have never thought of before about a house of deaf children. Sometimes our friends who all have hearing kids, drop their kids off at daycare and their biggest worry is whether their child will eat a good lunch. They may look at us who have kids with special needs and think..."I can't imagine dropping my kid off w/ 14,000 dollars worth of equipment on their ears, and wondering if they'll pick up any new language or hear the words to the songs they sing" but we moms w/deaf children need you to know, it's not that bad!!
Things we can do that you can't do...
1. We can crank up our music....when our kids go to bed.
2. We could have people over, laugh and talk as loud as we want...when our kids go to bed.
3. You'll never find us whispering when our kids go to bed, but you might find us turning the lights low, or tiptoeing so we don't vibrate the floor
4. The sound of mom cooking in the mornings will never wake our kids, but the smell might...or even the morning light shining in (buy heavy dark curtains!!)
5. and finally...we laugh when you call late (or early) and say "I hope I didn't wake the kids"...go ahead ring our doorbell too, you won't wake our kids
I'm sure other parents have plenty to add to the list...

Hearing Loss?Gifted?ADHD?Behavior?

Okay, in tears here! School really stresses me out. Gage does so well academically, unless he's having one of those days and gets careless, so there are absolutely no concerns of the work being too hard...many people like his TOD even, thinks the opposite..."he needs to be tested this year for gifted" she says. Well, some of you are thinking, that's great, why complain about that? Well, look a little closer...
As far as accommodating him w/his ci, being deaf, the school does a fabulous job. Everyone loves Gage he's a real hoot. The problem is getting him to sit and be quiet. He had these same problems last year. Right now it's not too fair to judge because he's been w/out his FM mic all week and he's had to take listening breaks where he's sent into the resource room w/HIS work. The teacher says that helps him a lot. When I pick him up everyday and he has check marks for "running, talking EXCESSIVELY, and out of his seat, disturbing others" so far not all at once. He forgot to even bring his homework home yesterday, left everything, his backpack was empty. I've always passed it off as "he's all boy" because I'd hear that even in grocery stores when people would see his behavior (not bad behavior, just high energy) then I passed it off as being deaf w/a ci...getting distracted from certain noises in class since he's such a good listener. Now we (school counselor, myself and others) are wondering if it's more. Maybe he has ADHD?? I'm going by the doc's office this morning to pick up a blue immunization sheet for Brook's school and I'll ask what are the steps to a diagnosis. I despise the thoughts of medication taking his personality...I don't want him to want to sit and watch tv or something like that. We love his energy at home while we are outside, it's just who he is. But my final straw is when he gets into the car every afternoon, sees my disappointment when he gets the check marks...we always take stuff away (like his four wheeler) and he understands that, but he's upset and crying because he don't know why he ran, or can't quit talking "school is hard, I don't understand the rules yet" he tells me yesterday. I say "they are the same rules as last year, you don't run, you stop talking, you listen to the teacher" but I feel bad 'cause I seriously think it's impossible for him to sit still and be quiet. People don't realize how hard he's taking this as well, so I seriously doubt this is all bad behavior. But I'm on a mission, to find out what is going on here, everyone seems to be stressing and I can't have him disturbing class all day so we are working for some answers. I've begun this diet watch according to ADHD standards. Wow, I feel for the mom who have kids w/allergies or diabetes even! Milk is in almost everything, so is red dye! Those are two key things to eliminate I think, it's very hard. So anyone w/a ADHD kid please, please...are we even remotely close? This is all new to me! We'll find out though, something has to change whether it's behavior, boredom, or the wiggles from ADHD.

School Days

First day of preschool...but first lets start at the beginning.
My second grader wakes this morning w/specific garments in mind he plans to wear to his second day of second grade. After only a minor modification, he left the house in hiking boots w/long pants as opposed to boots and shorts (never did like that, sorry, and besides it nearly 90 here). Yesterday when I asked for specifics of the day he had only two complaints; one was that his teacher kept telling him to "hush" (no suprise there...he talks non stop) so being the mother of a deaf child who can actually get into that kind of "trouble", I secretly smile while I explain he needs to be a good listener in school and slack off on the talking. His next complaint was the FM mic kept going dead. So I wrote the teacher a note to please let his TOD (teacher of the deaf) know this if it continues to lose its charge after being plugged in all night. Maybe it needs a new battery entirely.
As we pulled into the school parking lot where I was dreading the moment he realized that today began drop offs and no more assistance from Mom, he says "Are you coming in?" Oh no, here we go...my big second grader is gonna break down, cry...I'll have to pull over to reassure him how big he is, or they'll have to pry him from the car; one or the other! I take a deep breath and w/my rapid heartbeat increasing I say "Nope"!! I mentally try to anticipate his next move like a skilled chess player so I can counteract. He shocks me when says "YYYEEEESSSS!!!"
Oh my, that was a hard to pill swallow, where's my "I need my mom" or "But I'm gonna miss you"....I wasn't fully prepared for such outright joy, I was appalled at the blatent rejection of help I didn't intend on offering. I had every intention of assuring him how proud we were of him, how confident we were he could do it on his own, but apparently he doesn't need that...he's already go it.
Now on to Brook:

Lipgloss (check), microphone (check), excitement (check). I love Brook's preschool since this will be our fifth year there! Yes, Gage two years and due to Brook's birthday, this is her third year at the special ed preschool. So they know us well, know all about FMs and CIs so I basically pulled into the parking lot, wished them all good luck (the teachers that is) and slowly walked to my car. I was very careful not to show the little pep I had in my step, someone might think I actually was happy about my two hour time alone....WITH NO CHILDREN (and no dads,a visit to the grocery store alone every now and then doesn't count as "me" time...unless you're desperate...and believe me I have been and gotten by all summer on the once in a while grocery store trips)but now I was actually alone....for two hours! I pulled out of the parking lot, crossed street to a park not visible by the school. I was afraid everyone at the park might smell burnt rubber from my tires pulling out of the school and crossing the highway so quickly, so I parked on the end. Smiling at the other mothers (with their children by their side) I walked at the track while I talked on my phone...without interruption. I then left and went to the library where I checked out books, I may now have time to read. Then, I talked on my phone again and maintained a full 40 min conversation w/my best girlfriend !!
And you know what? When I picked Brook back up, that 30 min non stop chatter was music to my ears...the whole ride home. AAAHHH, refreshing!

First Class in Second Grade

Wow those second graders are picky! I was asked to change my clothes this morning before we headed out to school...can you believe that? I guess my Old Navy tank was okay for first grade but it's gotta be first class all the way in second grade! He says in a nice but disapproving manner, "why don't you ever wear your nice shirts? someone may see your armpit" I tried not to laugh, but instead realized image must be important so I politely went and changed into a NON-Armpit shirt! (lol)
When we first walked in, I realized this wasn't the teacher I thought we were going to have but hey, we moms of deaf children are looking for good voice quality (check)...cooperation (check)...and interest in teaching our exceptional children (check)! So we were good, she said she was excited to see Gage on her list (he's the only deaf/ci child in the school) so that's a plus. I did have to ask her to change his seat, his seating was not in relation to his left side ci, but she readily changed him to a proper seat in relation to his better ear (implanted ear). Think we are good to go! He had a great day and lets cross our fingers for Brook's big day tomorrow! Her first day of four year old preschool! ("it" could hit the fan tomorrow) she may look sweet and innocent, but I know her well!!! * grin*
Oh, and Gage asked me if his voice sounded deep...haha

Microlink

Okay, so excited...school starts on Monday. We went to the school today to pick up the mics and microlinks. . So they can be charged and ready for action on Monday. Gage has switched to the BTE this summer so he received a black receiver (he was very excited it was black) and we have the mics on charge ready to roll. Gage will leave his fm mic in the classroom this year (big boy) and it'll be up to him to charge it everyday before he leaves class. Brook will still bring hers home so I can check the equipment each day (my choice) and she also has the microlinks. And yesterday my creative children could be found w/their magnifying glasses outside, reflecting sun to melt marshmallows. Unfortunately, no one ate theirs, but now we have plenty of ants carrying around the pink melted mess!

The Nine Hour Trip

Yesterday was a long day, but mostly fun! We went to our nine a.m. appointment at the audiologist's office for Gage's mapping but it takes an hour and a half to get there. We knew the day would start off great, just the two of us, rockin' out to Kid Rock, ACDC, whatever he wanted to hear. Now I will say this, he recognizes these songs by their music much quicker than I do and I'm hearing (he has one ci), I usually need the lyrics. After the mapping which took almost an hour due to having to stop...chitchatting w/him...remind him to LISTEN..."I am, I hear them all" he says...he just forgot to TELL us! Okay, back to the story, I fell my "cool points" going up as our day progressed, our music got louder, we were rockin'. We moms know how we can lose cool points in a matter of mintues with these guys especially as they age, but this day was going good so far. We took a break from our cute little pregnant audiologist who either dreads or looks forward to our visits (who knows)? They can be draining sometimes, but we usually get some funny story that comes out of Gage's mouth that can be retold over and over again...sure to make someone else laugh, so usually it's all worth it. He was starving so we meandered to another city nearby ( a shopper's dream ) and had lunch. We had almost three hours to kill before we were expected back at the audio's office. Gage unfortunately chose Micky D's (as always) so that's where we ate, and he anticipated the adventures that waited behind him.

Now we moms to these ci kiddos sometimes make them take their processors off due to static concerns. Well, the downside to this is they never look at us when they go into these contraptions, and they can't hear us calling their name or flapping our arms around like an owl about to take flight. Very convenient I might add. I usually find a kid whose willing to climb up and ask Gage to follow them down. This time, I decided I was going to have Gage be more responsible. The other day we went to a water park as you may have read from the previous entry. I saw one little boy talking to Gage but Gage wasn't looking at the boy so it ended w/this eight year old kid thinking Gage was being rude or not friendly because he wanted Gage to be on his "team" as he put it, however Gage walked away. I decided that while we were eating, I'd prep him a bit. I told him about what had happened at the water park, and that he might could prevent some of that if he told people upfront that he can't hear when he's not wearing his processor, they would most likely understand and would realize that you're not rude or that you're not wanting to play. He agreed and went off to play after he crammed the last eleven fries into his mouth at once.
The play area had maybe five other kids there. After he'd been in there maybe two minutes I hear a little boy saying in an elevated voice "he can't hear w/out his hearing aid....mom!...Mom! he can't hear without this hearing aid" and I just grinned, knowing Gage had decided to handle the situation. The little boy ran back inside and twenty minutes later, I had to pry Gage away from there. I had to grab hold of him since he likes to avoid facial contact in times of "I'm happy NOT hearing you!!" I won him over with the fact we needed to go buy new school shoes. He jumped in the car and off we went. We stopped at one store, but he didn't see any Nike's he liked or anything that really appealed to him. So I offered to take him to another store where he found the coolest shoes ever! Perfect for him, since he's kinda close to the police now. They say S.W.A.T. and Police and they light up like police cars. They are Sketchers by the way.


After that we, went back to the audio's office for an integrity test. This was his final one and they still find nothing wrong w/his internal piece. It's quick painless and easy...but glad we don't have to do those anymore. We only opted for that since he's a special case anyway, having all the malformations, and having his device inserted a different way. He had like two electrodes shut down at once like a year ago and as precaution we called in the experts for integrety testing. We finally made it home at 4:30 after leaving at 7:00 am that morning, ugh..I was tired, hungry, and ready for bed (which I so lovingly crawled into at 8:00-don't laugh, I'm an early bird in the mornings)
I have more to blog really, but will have to wait, I sometimes get carried away w/my posting and they get too lenghty so I'll do a seperate post later.

Can you believe?

Can you believe this neighborhood water park is free?...um, we don't actually live in the neighborhood, or any neighborhood for that matter, but it doesn't matter, people can come from all over to play in the water on the weekends. I was not stepping into the chaotic water fights to translate since the kids seem to do okay themselves! I saw one boy telling Brook to wait her turn as she tried to take a metal water shooter from him but she was just confused, as he didn't really want to share. She almost used a little force but the "guns" turned off and the dolphin turned on. You never know where the water will shoot from here, so all the kids run around, screaming with delight when they are surprised by a great splash of water. Also to note that my kids have mastered the "I'm not looking at you so I can't 'hear' you, therefore we can't leave if I don't know you're talking to me!!" down pat! ugh, fifteen minutes I tried to wrangle these two away and back to the car. It was miserably hot here today. Also while I'm on the subject, Gage also has mastered this one....when he's outside playing and I'm trying to get him to come inside, sometimes he changes his voice to mock how he sounds w/no processor on and tells me that he doesn't have his processor on. Can you believe that? I've told him before he loses his "R's" when he doesn't have his processor on so he's learned to be either very smart or very deceitful, depends on how you look at it.

If You Had Said....

We are approaching the four year mark of where everything in our lives changed. If you had said to me back then that I would be seeing my soon to be five year old, pretending to read our "Happy Birthday to my Ears" book, I wouldn't have believed you. But here, she is...

If you had said to me four years ago that I would actually be asking my kids to "be quiet"...I wouldn't have believed you....but I do, almost everyday. And I remember being a grocery store hearing parents scold their children saying things like "stop talking...you're too loud...watch your mouth" and getting angry at them, secretly envying that they are able to do that, telling myself I would never let those words pass over my lips....but they do. If you had told me the other night when they were in a physical fight over nothing which actually left Brook bleeding with a knot near one of her implants, that I would see this the next morning...I wouldn't have believed you.

If you had said to me as I walked into the doctor's office that August of 2004, that the doctor would actually be able to implant my son just a few short months down the road, after attempting it with no success just the year before...I wouldn't have believed you. But he did! Lots can happen in four years!